Letting Go of Relationships

When relationships fail, somewhere along the line, one or both parties stopped being fulfilled by the union. Sometimes the relationship can be worked on, and sometimes not. Those times when one side desperately clings to the situation, unhappy outcomes are almost guaranteed. A person cannot cajole someone else into love/friendship. One can only control how we feel and react to others.

Our wanting and needing to “make” things work doesn’t take into consideration the role that the other person plays in the continued harmony or disharmony of the situation. In fact, it can be viewed as selfish because the sole perspective is from the position of “I.” As relationships are about “we,” the narrow-minded approach of “I” is doomed. In the beginning, the skewed pairing may appear to work, but it cannot sustain itself from a one-sided basis. Relationships must be lovingly nurtured by all involved. There must be a constant dance of give and take.

When it is over, understand that as change is the only constant in our lives, all relationships must evolve, and sometimes that evolution results in a dissolution. Rather than maintain an attachment to a situation in which one claims to no longer be satisfied, know that in the long run, you too would have been unsatisfied, for your endless giving would deplete you and you’d have nothing to show for your love, time, and effort. Being let go is, in a way, being done a favor. The other person is indicating to you that he/she will no longer be able to furnish you with the love, energy, desire, longing, respect, and care you deserve because he/she is no longer into you. It’s much better to know in a straightforward manner rather than languish in a mediocre partnership that neither nourishes your spirit nor brings you happiness.

Be okay with letting go of relationships that no longer work. A bad fit for him/her translates to a bad fit for you too.